raya experience.

alhamdulillah syawal has come.
a definitely rare syawal this year. yg pertama sebab kerja di kuala terengganu. staying 400 kms away frm family. so boleh bayangkan la utk anak bongsu cm ni, dok jauh rasa dia mcmana. but i have my husband. penawar rasa rindu family yg laen. hehe. and of course syawal pertama bergelar isteri. i have never thot that i wud be a wife by this syawal. tp perancangan Allah kan maha hebat. Alhamdulillah.

balik ke kg dgn rasa excited yang amatttt. hehe. siap cuti sebab nak kemas rumah kat kuala tganu kemas beg kemas baju. wpun husband kerja smp kol 3. hehe. kitorang gerak pulang arnd 430 kot. trafic was a bit messy masa nak keluar from kuala tganu. sepjg perjalanan i didnt sleep at all. cant believe it! hahah. memang tak tidur. dok cerita2 dgn husband. sambil nyanyi2. pastu pulak buka dalam kereta saja. minum twister n makan wafer loackers. sbb kita ikot jalan jabor. hehe. bila dah smpai r&r gambang baru solat n makan properly. best sebab 1st time rasa mcm balik kg yg jauh. haha. and ktorg tak dgr radio. dok dgr mp3 dlm iphone syg. so share sorg satu pakai earphone. hahaha. arrived safely at bentong arnd 11pm. :)

1st syawal. malam sebelum raya tu mmg sibuk memasak. i cooked mee kari utk family this year sbb takut husband x de makanan. hehe. cz ktorg x buat ketupat. cuma rebus nasi impit je. n of course lemang n rendang. hehe. woke up early pagi raya tu. terus pergi dapur siap2 kan makanan. kejut suami. gosok baju suami. gosh i feel so grown up sometimes. ahaha. went to smyg raya and feel so touched. byk sgt nikmat Allah dah beri. subhanallah. thank u Allah.
balik smyg sesi amik gambar mcm biasa bdgn family. and 1st time ever. mintak ampun maaf dgn suami..:')

kita raya di temerloh. and my cuzzies i yg terkejut tgk saya sedikit different. siap tlg ukur labuh tudung saya lagi. haha. and rasa weird tgk saya pakai socks and handsock. haha. but tak kesah la. alhamdulillah i feel proud to be syariah compliant. :)

after that petang kita gerak ke klang.. tp kitorang singgah dating dlu tgk movie. eheheh. dah lamaaaaa sangat x watch a movie together. tgk percy jackson. pilih couple seat of courseee. hehe. dah halal dah nak dok couple seat dok pegang tangan sepjg masa pun. hahaha. i love i love :p

smpai rumah mak arnd 10pm.budak2 tgh galak dok main mercun n bunga api. memang bunyi diaaaa ya rabbi... haha. bergegar kepala rasanya. syg pun dok gile main mercun. risau isteri dia tengok. hahaha. 2nd syawal. pusing2 raya rumah sedara mara.. sgt ramai. smpai skrg pun x abes round lg.
mmg smpai mlm baru balik rumah. fuhh

among the things i learnt.. kat sini mmg pentingkan berkunjung ke rumah sedara mara lg. alhamdulillah. and tepat wktu utk solat. kalau time smpai rumah sape2 tu azan. mmg akan trus solat there and then. bagus kan. and i melted beberapa kali bila tengok syg layan anak buah yg umur 1 year.. memang melt betul. tgk dia layan naik buai la. minum susu la. timang2 la. i could almost picture him being a daddy to our children. inshaAllah. semoga Allah makbulkannnn. ameen. :')

i still love it when kita keluar ramai2 satu family and he hold my hand. bila pergi shopping barang dapur satu family. he wud still hold my hand. i love it when i can hold his hand no matter when. love it when i can hug him everyday without fail. he is truly my nyawa. sungguh cinta lelaki itu. kerna Allah. inshaAllah

enjoy the pictures. ;)

posted from Bloggeroid

random

bismillah.. we are now already at the end of ramadhan.. subhanallah cpt sgt masa berlalu..

now im postcall sebenarnya. tired but cant sleep so i decided to blog sedikit.
i was hoping that i cud fast the whole of the month.. meaning that i missed my menses. meaning that i actually am pregnant.

but nahhh. not yet. Allah said. belum sampai masanya i guess. although i was feeling tired and kadang2 dyspneic after house chores.. i was deluded thinking maybe i am pregnant :p hehe. i guess i was hoping too much. kot. so when the 'time' comes.. i was doing caesarean section *operation utk deliver baby* and i was feeling slight cramping of abdomen.. n bila post op tengok2.... almost cry hehehe

that was how i really hope i was pregnant. walaupun we are only almost 4 months being married. i cant help but to feel this every time of the month. and i know rezeki Allah dtg pada masa yang sgt tepat dan bersesuaian.. but being surrounded by pregnant moms and babies everyday. allah knows how my heart flutters each time i saw a newborn being held by the new moms. i almost wanted to push her and held the baby. hehe. crazy. hehe


but inshaAllah we will keep on trying and trying. akan ada rezeki kami satu hari nanti. satu hari nanti pasti. inshaAllah.

by the way harini ada talk by ustzah hawa from jabatan agama islam tganu pasal bfeeding dr sudut islam.. and she taught us.. masa awal2 preconception.. byk2 baca al quran.. surah yassin n kahfi masa awal kandungan.. kemudian bila dah besar sikit bole baca surah yusuf, taha, nur, luqman n maryam. kalau lagi bagus boleh khatam 3 kali al quran spjg mengandung. subhanallah

and so this ramadhan siapa2 terbaca ni. tolong doakan saya diberi rezeki zuriat. semoga doa kalian termakbul. ameen :')

i never thot that the last ramadhan was my last as a single lady. tgk balik gamba ramadhan last year, senyum sorang2 tgk gamba saya n suami. how time flies. how beautiful destiny is.

till then..

:)

posted from Bloggeroid

hello assalamualaikum...

malam ni mode jiwang. padahal sebenarnya memang jiwang sentiasa. hahaha

Alhamdulillah
approaching 3rd month of married life with him
actually tadi i took the time to read back all the entries i wrote ever since i fall for him.

yes. i did. i have another separate blog in details that i wrote abt him. him. my husband.

sayang..
thank you for coming into my life. for accepting me as your wife. for willing to sacrifice untuk menjaga hati dan menerima saya.
i know im not perfect. far from perfect. cantik pun tak, pandai masak pun tak, kadang2 manja x pasal2. haha.
i remembered i once asked u what u were looking in someone then u said yang penting agama.

and even that, pun isteri awak ni biasa2 saja.

but i feel so blessed to have u as my husband. kadang2 x percaya lagi that ure my husband. hehe. the moment i woke up at night and turned to the side and u were there. i can hear your heart beating, and i silently pray to Allah, ya Allah please protect this guy from any harm, grant him health cz i want to be with him till Jannah.. the moment i came back from work, super tired n saw you... and i know im home :) the moment when i missed u when i was oncall n didnt see u for 24 hours. hehe. the moment when i keep on googling recipes on the net cz ive no clue sometimes what to cook for my husband. hehe. the moment when ure my imam, and that is the most perfect moment of all.

im blessed to have u around. to know that now i can simply say i love u everyday, at all times. that i can tell u i miss u every single day. to hold your hands whenever i feel like it. theres nothing else that i wud ask for in the world.

biar susah senang, semoga Allah sentiasa satukan hati kita. semoga kita sentiasa dalam kecukupan.

sayang..
terima kasih untuk 3 bulan pertama. still fresh newly weds people say. and to many million more months to come. i love u.

im sorry sebab dah pernah kecikkan hati syg. im sorry i sometimes reacted to things too emotionally. sungguh demi Allah, tak pernah terniat nak kecilkan hati suami. syurga saya tetap di telapak kaki suami.

sayang..

i juz want u to know.. that tak kisah apa2 jadi. semoga kita kekal bersatu. i love u baby. with all my heart. semoga bahagia abadi kekal bersama kita. semoga kita dikurnia zuriat soleh dan solehah penyambung warisan. im proud to have u as my husband. always do. always will.

selamat 3 bulan bergelar suami syg.

with all my heart. and soul.

from mrs wifey xoxo. big hugs.

posted from Bloggeroid

hello KT

bismillah..

writing this in our home in kuala terengganu. :) yes, i am now in darul iman. Alhamdulillah Allah dah mudahkan jalan untuk kami :) seberat hati untuk tinggalkan mak abah sejauh ini, tapi berdoa semoga Allah memelihara kedua2 mereka. inshaAllah. because a wife's place is always next to the husband. maka dengan itu, adanya saya di sini to function as a wife. lillahi ta'ala.

its not tht bad. i am in o&g dept, one step closer to my dreams. inshaAllah. its very tiring sebenarnya sbb ure dealin with mom n baby as well. tapi entah kenapa sejak dari med school i keep on falling in love with d obgyn department. ramai orang tanya, kenapa x mintak klinik kesihatan cz if then i wil be a lot more free dari segi masa. but i believe marriage shudnt put u to a stop to yr dreams. kan? eceh ke skrg je tgh semangat hehe. but inshaAllah... saya harap Allah mudahkan jalan dan mudahkan urusan saya dan suami. saya niatkan ini kerana Allah. biarlah saya menolong wanita2 yg berjihad utk melahirkan seorang lagi insan ke dunia. ini hukumnya fardhu kifayah. semoga dengan ini dpt membantu saya mengumpul credit point untuk ke alam sana. inshaAllah.

ive started being oncall. penat toksah cakap lah. haha. sekejap2 labor room call. sekejap2 lagi ward pulak call. sebab im still new, so dlm tempoh tagging ni i have to gain as much as i can. so nanti inshaAllah boleh buat caesarean section sndiri. excited nih walaupun takut. it still gives me d feeling of auwww, theres a baby inside the womb. n my maternal hormone kicks in. damn. hehe

but i do, miss the friends i left in bentong. sekarang masih dalam proses adaptation. lucky ive got my husband here with me. so balik rumah lepas penat kerja nampak suami ada... hilang semua penat. hehe.

we are now almost 3 months being married. subhanallah. alhamdulillah. dlm 3 months tu sebulan lebih duduk jauh. but x lama sgt la. tapi dapat la merasai feeling rindu kat suami yang jauh di mata tapi dekat di hati. hehe. ramai orang tanya saya masa saya lepas kawin, so hows married life? best tak?

my answer is... Alhamdulillah. this is d best feeling ever! seronok sangat in the sense of u know u have someone that wil always be with u. walau apa pun.. susah senang sama2.. inshaAllah. it is more awesome sbb dah ada imam di rumah. solat jemaah sama2 walaupun tak dpt hari2 sbb kadang2 our working schedule clashes with each other.. but yes, isnt it wonderful to b able to solat sama, baca yassin sama2. able to salam n kiss him each time we part for work. ehe. but of course this comes with a lot of responsibility..kalau dulu duduk ngan mak abah. blk rumah boleh lepak2 tido tgk tv. nnt malam dinner is served. haha.

now...basically i wake up arnd 545 am sbb in bit slow still in cooking. hehe. akn try to fix a breakfast walaupun as simple as toasted bread..kalau rajin sikit goreng nasi or bihun. but.. kalau terlambat bangun, memang smpt buat nescafe je. haha. noon memang tak masak unless kalau on weekend. and after work, if im not oncall sampai rumah dalam pukul 6. after asar trus masuk dapur preparing dinner.. i actually enjoyed doing that :) walaupun isteri sorang ni masak xde la hebat sgt. but inshaAllah nak cari redha Allah. nak senangkan hati suami.

these are my responsibilities.. basuh baju. sidai. lipat. gosok. masak. etc etc. i enjoy doing it. :) alhamdulillah sikit pun rasa x terbeban. berdoa semoga Allah akan sentiasa beri kelapangan walau sepenat atau sesibuk mana..

but honestly kita x sempat nak pusing2 ganu lagi. but then well. weve got plenty of time.

the feeling of u know u have yr own lil family. just the 2 of u, makes me feel whole. ini pinjaman Allah yg sgt berharga. subhanallah terima kasih Allah.

what wud make it even more better is the presence of a kid in the hse. eheh. i dont know why but ive been drooling over babies in labor room everyday. i wud snap their pics n send the pics to him. pity husband. hehe. takpe rezeki Allah dtg pada masa yg tepat kan. inshaAllah. semoga ada rezeki kami nanti

erm apa lagi nak cakap ni. semoga Allah mudahkan urusan kami suami isteri. semoga Allah pelihara kedua orang tua kami di selangor dan phg. inshaAllah. we will come back. inshaAllah. we will

till then

be an awesome muslim ok. ameen

posted from Bloggeroid

Hijrah

Bismillahirrahminrrahim..

Well..if u guys could remember.. I used to write about berhijrah. Everyone needs it. Kalau tak our lives will be chronically stuck at the same old level. Boring kan. Mcm main candy crush n stuck at the same level. Kan x best tu :p eh merepek pulak. Hehe

Well to think of it.. Memang ada terfikir2 but never thot it wud be this early. Hijrah apa yang saya maksudkan?erm.. Saya mengambil langkah untuk berhijrah, inshaaAllah ke arah jalan yg Allah redha. Untuk menutup aurat dengan sempurna. Walau sempurna itu sifat dan milik Allah tapi sebagai hamba, kita tetap wajib mencuba menjaga hubungan kita dgn Pencipta. kalau nak ikutkan i did change slowly over the years, kalau dulu asyik keluar malam, then slowly dah kurang. Now.. Memang tak keluar la kalau bukan dgn suami. Heh..
Dulu mmg pakai jeans ketat2.. Pakai leggings. .pakai tudung pendek2. Then after some time.. I decided to change. Hidayah dari Allah, jangan sia siakan. Alhamdulillah.
So back to basic. Tudung bawal n selimpang tutup dada. Thats what ive been wearing. Dah tak pakai jeans ketat lagi but more to dresses. That was before being a mrs tho.

Hijrah saya yang kali ini.. I think some people think its a bit extreme. It all started bila me n my husband had a conversation about love. When he asked me, do u love me.. I was a bit weird. Then he goes, if u love me.. Kalau boleh... Kena lebihkan sikit usaha. Kena tunjuk syg tu.. By covering up your aurat, and so he goes on... Barulah cinta kerana Allah. Mula2 i go a bit blank. Sbb i could never imagined myself bertudung labuh sebenarnya. Never have i thought sebelum2 ni that i wud be wearing it. Sejujurnya memang tak. But then bila fikir, of course hes asking me to change for the better. Benda yang baik kan.. And jalan nak menuju ke syurga tu bukan mudah :')

After that.. Slowly ive realized.. Why not now? We just started our life together and this is d time for us to create the family we wanted. Sama2 mencari redha kasih syg Allah. Lagipun bukan ke rasa cinta yang ada dalam diri kami hadir setelah Allah melabuhkan ihsan untuk memberi kami nikmat bahagia.

Cuak sebenarnya. Ajak emak teman pergi kedai tudunng and cari bawal bidang 60. She was shocked too. but ive told her that yes this is nasihat dari suami and i wanna change myself. So the first day went to work berjubah and bertudung bidang 60. I swear i cud feel people were looking at me. There goes people saying.. Eh doctor u looked different... And i just smiled. Semoga Allah redha.

But honestly i feel fine about it. Infact rasa mcm semua orang yg approach me skrg akan start with assalamualaikum doctor.. Thats good right? :) but of course ada yg kata amboi panjangnya mcm nak sapu lantai. Haha. ;p

To me.. Berubahnya saya bukan sebab menurut kata suami semata. Ini saya lakukan inshaAllah ikhlas untuk mencari redha Allah dan juga redha suami. Bukan kah syurga saya sekarang di telapak kaki seorang suami? :') bukan jugak sebab nak menunjuk yang saya alim ulama atau ustazah.. Bukan.. Tapi memang ada perintah dari Allah untuk wanita muslim melabuhkan hijabnya agar mereka lebih senNg dikenali.
Bila pakai mcm sekarang ni.. Believe me. . Nak cakap nak buat apa2 pun kena jaga. InshaAllah itu tanda Allah pelihara. Ive read before that setitik peluh yang mengalir kerana menutup aurat Allah beri ganjaran. :')

Doakan saya istiqamah. Sekarang ni still collecting tudung and yes of course baju jugak. Its a whole different wardrobe i guess. :')
Terimahlah ibadah kami ya Allah. Temukan lah kami di dalam syurga abadi milikMu.

Dan saya doa kita semua sentiasa dikurnia hidayah olehNya. Ameen

posted from Bloggeroid

Bahagia ini milikMu

Bismillah..

Now i already started working for 2 weeks plus. Hehe. Semua orang tegur lama nye cuti ;p

Well.. Alhamdulillah. Sejujurnya ive never been happier. I am a blessed wife to nurul najmi. Selesai sudah majlis kedua2 belah pihak n now reality check.. Back to work. Mencari masa for each other. Caring for each other through our different schedules.

Hes now 400kms away from me. Jauh kan. Tapi tetap dekat di hati. :') walau pun sebenarnya rindu tu Allah je yg tahu. Each time i went back home n entered our room. Ada kain pelikat dia yg tersidai dgn kopiah.. That wud be the 1st thing saya akan cium. And sebab rindu. I kept his baju kotor yg belum berbasuh so tat i can smell him. Hehe. Gediknya. :p

The 1st week that i went to work. Semuanya berjemput n berhantar pergi kerja. Siap kalau oncall he wud drop by and kasi makanan. I miss that. I miss the everyday ritual of salam cium tangan sebelum pergi mana mana.. Selepas solat. Sebelum tidur. That is my routine. Sabarlah hati.

Subhanallah. Allah has given me the chance to feel all this. Terima kasih ya Rabb. Ini bahagia milikMu. Rasa ini milikMu. Semoga kami kekal dalam peliharaanMu. Berkasih kasihan kerana Mu. Semoga cinta kami kekal hingga ke Jannah. Semoga kami dikurnia zuriat yg soleh dan solehah yang akan mendoakan kami nanti sebagai pengikat kasih sayang kami.

Inilah janji Allah.. Ketenangan dan kebahagiaan selepas nikah. Takkan ditemui kalau couple2 je ok. Hehe
Janji Allah itu pasti. Terima kasih Tuhan atas bahagia ini.

posted from Bloggeroid

Married!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

I am now blissfully married. Berusia 10 hari perkahwinan kami. Hehe.

Moga Allah sahaja yang membalas segala doa dan all the gifts yang kalian hadiahkan pada kami. Setiap doa yang kalian titipkan.. Kami tadah dan sambut dengan Ameen di hati kami. Semoga Allah makbulkan doa doa itu.
Ameen

I still cant believe that i an a wife now! Takkan lupa saat akad nikah menjadi sah, 6 april 2013 jam 9.16pm, diakad oleh ayahanda sendiri. Alhamdulillah.

Indah sungguh aturan Allah. Ini takdir untuk kami. All the while iv been thinking dari kecik zaman main masak2 agaknya nnt dah besar kawen dgn siapa.. Now dah tau jawapannya..

I am a proud wife to dr nurul najmi mohd nyisak

A very humble young man. Simple je. Yang penting lelaki yang satu ini taatkan agamanya. Itu yg paling bermakna

Kerana lelaki ini adalah ketua saya . Ketua keluarga kecil kami.

Saat pertama kali pegang tangan lelaki ini.. Sungguh hati rasa berdebar2 sgt. Tangan keduanya sejuk mcm air batu. Hehe. All these while ive been wondering too, how does it feel like to be able to hold his hands..
Takkan lupa saat pertama kali tangan kami bersentuh tanpa alas, saat pertama saya tunduk kucup tangannya.. Tanda hormat seorang saya untuk seorang lelaki ajnabi dahulunya yang kini sah bergelar suami.
Sungguh ajaib rasa itu. Mungkinkah cinta yang dijanjikan Allah perlahan lahan meresap dalam hati setelah sah akad terpatri?

It feels like my heart being charged. N warmth fills up my soul. Thats how it feels like the first time i hold your hand. :)

Kalau dulu rasa resah sbb takut tersalah langkah.. The what ifs questions yang kerap kali muncul pantang waktu senggang tiba.. Now tiada lagi resah itu. Cuma tenang.

I admit mmg berdebar la to share a life together with a guy. Tapi kita niatkan semuanya atas nama ibadah. In shaa Allah. Allah telah mengatur semuanya.

Our nikah was attended by both families. Penuh jugak rumah kami. And my cloee friends. Alhamdulillah. Air mata menitik jugak saat ayahanda mohon izin untuk menikahkan saya dgn lelaki itu. Dan saat pertama kali mata kami bertembung pandang saat bacaan taklik.. All i could think.. Im his wife. Subhanallah :')

The reception was held at dewan. first time ever family kami adakan di dewan. Well sbbnya takut kat rumah crammed sgt. Jemputan abah mmg ramai sebab anak bongsu. Ehem. Hehe.

I loved the entrance part whereby kami berhenti untuk berselawat n after that lagu ruth sahanaya kaulah segalanya took placd n dewan was dimmed.. N my nieces n nephews jalan dulu, the boys carrying lanterns. n the girls of course jadi flower girls. Followed by my sisters n then only us walked down the red carpet. Holding him close n walking. It feels rare. Haha. Jakun tak.

Alhamdulillah it all went well. Cuma i admit tak sempat borak panjang dgn sahabat yg dtg. Harap mereka faham..

Cuma penat senyum n kena berlakon sikit2 for the video shoot. But alhamdulillah puas hati kerja dgn photographers; the same photographers masa majlis tunang so dah x kekok sgt nak senyum n pose. Malu dah kurang. N the guys who shoot for d video; cst production team. Mmg sempoi.. N my 2 pelamins n deco n makeup by rita collection. Pricey i admit but i love d end product.

Being a wife.. Sempat duduk almost a week in mom in laws house.. Learnt about him some more.

Haha

Our differences strike. I love drinking milo. Hari2 b4 kerja minum milo. So i made milo for him before dia pergi kerja. But he tanak minum. So merajuk. Hahaha.

Benda2 kecil yg saya belajar pasal suami. Dari adik2, mak mertua n ayah mertua. In shaa Allah will adapt slowly.

Kena belajar mcmana nak kejut suami sbb liat sgt bangun tido. Hahaha

But whatever it is. Im ready to face the challenge.its not honeymoon period sentiasa. life has its ups n downs. Lepas ni kami akan berjauhan demi kerjaya. Tapi inshaa Allah, Allah kkn ada. Kami akan dekat akhirnya. I wil also put in my transfer. Tak kisah dekat ke jauh. Tak kisah susah ke senang. Sihat atau sakit. Thru everything.. I want to go thru it all with him. Hanya dia satu di hati. Ameen. In shaa Allah


Sebenarnya kita tgh belajar bercinta2 lagi. Haha. Dulu pun panggil awk awk. Skrg pun kdang terlepas awk awk lagi. Hehe. Sungguh indah bercinta lepas nikah. Semoga Allah pupuk rasa cinta di hati kami. Sehingga kami ke syurga Mu nanti. Ameen. Its priceless to b able to kiss his hand everyday before sending him off to work. To be able to wake up n see him first thing in the morning. To be able to tell him i love u no matter when.
Ini harta milik Allah. Bahagia ini milik Allah. Sungguh terima kasih Ya Rabb.

Kurniakna kami kebaikan di dunia dan di akhirat.

Pictures as attached ;)

posted from Bloggeroid

One

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
It's friday already. Subhanallah. Cepat sgt masa pergi. Now tinggal hari terakhir sebagai single lady.

Ya Allah andai takdir ini yg terbaik buat kami, Kau kuatkan lah keimanan kami melalui pernikahan ini.

Ya Allah, andai takdir ini takdir terbaik untuk kami dunia dan akhirat, satukan lah hati kami sehingga kami meraih syurga Mu

Ya Allah, andai dia lelaki terbaik untukku.. Tenangkan hati ku. Permudahkan majlis pernikahan kami.. Tenangkan hatinya sewaktu lafaz akad nanti.

Ya Allah, aku ingin syurgaMu. Andai pernikahan ini mampu mendekatkan aku kepada Mu. Tentu aku redha. Aku mohon rasa cinta buat suamiku bukan setahun dua, aku mohon rasa cinta seperti cintanya Khadijah terhadap Rasulullah SAW. Biarlah ini pernikahan pertama dan terakhir kami ya Allah.

Ya Allah, aku tahu dugaan dari Mu takkan putus mendatang kerana dugaan itu penguat iman. Aku mohon jangan kau renggangkan hati kami, satukan kami tika susah dan senang

Ya Allah, jadikanlah aku seorang isteri yg bakal menyenangkan hatinya, jadikanlah aku isteri yg sentiasa mendapat redha suami, jadikanlah aku yang terbaik untuknya selepas Kau dan Rasulullah.

Ya Allah, esok aku bakal dinikahkan oleh ayahanda ku. Aku mohon berkatilah dan berilah redha Mu. Aku mohon pernikahan ini membawa kami ke syurga Mu. Kurniakan lah kami sebuah keluarga sakinah.

Ameen

a very anxious bride to be.

Three

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

3 more days to go.Or should i say 2 and a half.

Untuk bakal suami, nurul najmi mohd nyisak

I know.. Kita tak pernah bercinta sangat mcm org lain.. And some say we move too fast? Okay maybe la kot its quite fast.

First time i saw u was in march 2011. I was in my 3rd posting that time. Never did i know i wud be meeting my future husband there. I wasnt aware of my feelings sgt. Only after we were in separate posting i noticed i wud be thinking of texting u but i dont have anything to say to u.. But i wasnt sure thus i leave evrything to Allah. Istikharah after istikharah. Hajat after hajat.
I could still rmmber the days when we did rounds together. When we inserted cvp together. When we did tapping together. Haha. But we were only friends. The usual lunch was normal. But i rmmbr sarah wong used to say this to me, 'chups, u mcm sesuai je ngan najmi'
But i said.. No way! Hehe

I could still remember masa raya puasa 2011, i already like u. So abah ada buat open house masa tu at janda baik n i so wanted u to come.. So i invited u. Surprisingly, u came!! Walaupun masa mula2 tu segan la nk tanya awk nk dtg ke tak.. Tp sebab tunggu awk x update pun i asked u.. Then u said will come after o&g rounds.. :) o was nervous masa tu tunggu awak sampai. Rasa happy2 sgt. Haha. And masa tu kaksu pun da tau i like u. So she started to kacau2 u that time. That was the first time u met my family.

If only i have the old texts between us.. That wud be priceless. And the feeling hit me after that. N i confessed to u october of 2011. After few months of trying to keep hold of it . Yeah i was the kind of girl who cant contain her feelings sgt. Haha. Sooo i blurted it out via viber. It took u 4 days to reply, and u said.. Please dont discard your feelings

After that there was nothing official pun. We just become closer. Texting more often. But rarely calls. Memang sgt jarang call and x pernah bergayut on phone. Mula2 dulu rasa weird sbb kenapa u never call. But then again after some time..i slowly try to understand u.

U said.. Tanak bercinta beriya before nikah.

I was speechless. Sbb tak pernah ada org yg sy kenal yg mcm awak ni. U were different. in every way thats possible. U were different.
From the early days that we met.. U always ajak puasa together.. Even the 1st time we ever 'keluar' together, just the 2 of us pun masa nak berbuka puasa... I was so nervous. Didnt know how to react depan awak. Taktau nk panggil awak ape cz we used to ' aku kau' then nameless for a while.. Haha. Till we decide on awk n org. But i do call u yang sometimes. N u did call me yang beberapa kali :p sooo unromantic! Hehe

We went thru the chaos of htar together. I cried when i was about to leave htar. I was scared of losing you. I was scared of uncertainties. I cried so hard that night n that was the night u opened up to me. N slowly i built back my confidence that if it was meant to be, eventually Allah will pave the way for us.

I know. Ada orang pernah tanya saya why i stayed with u during the period of uncertainty. I was sad that time tp i believed that dari mula whn i was scared to fall for u, i prayed to Him to show the way and the feelings never subside. Always stay within me.

I found my peace in you. I found my home in you. Each time i looked at a happy couple, i silently pray to Allah, please Allah let me have a happyfamily with u. I dont want to love u that much too. I want to love u for the sake of Allah. :')

Its funny how life spins. I know u never propose to me properly. We just go on as what the family wishes. Im still scared at this point sebenarnya but i believe Allah is with us. DIA maha tahu segalanya. When the road is open up for us, pasti ada hikmah yg tersembunyi di sebaliknya.

Now we are this close to being in a halal relationship
All thse while weve been in haram relationship i know. Sbb tu awak pun x nak kita ckp2 phone sgt. Tanak selalu jumpa especially lepas tunang. Sebab tu jugak saya respect awak. For a guy who knows his batas2 agama n never let Allah slips away from him, in shaaAllah saya yakin dan percaya im on the right path..

Doa saya, semoga Allah tenangkan hati kita berdua, semoga Allah pupuk rasa cinta antara kita setelah sah lafaz akad nanti. Semoga Allah anugerahkan kita zuriat penyambung kasih dan pembela agama. Ameen. Semoga Allah anugerahkan syurga dunia dan akhirat buat kita. Semoga susah senang kita, kita hadapi sama sama. Semoga kita takkan termakan hasutan syaitan. Semoga apa pun dugaan kita, biarlah kita bersama.

I know im not perfect. U could find a better person than me. But ive always loved u. I dont say it often to u. Pernah 2 kali ke 3 kali je sbb segan nak ckp cmtu. I hope i could be a good wife to u. Menjadi kekuatan tika lemah. Menjadi penyembuh ketika duka. Menjadi penawar segalanya. Menjadi sahabat, isteri, pelengkap jiwa. Bimbinglah saya menuju syurga. In shaa Allah i wud always take care of myself, the way i walk, the way i talk, the way i dress cz it will all come back to u as a husband later.

Biarlah saat pertama kali tangan kita bersentuh, saat selepas akad nikah untuk salaman pertama seorang saya kepada awak. Jujur i always wonder how does it feel to be able to hold your hands. *sebab jari awak cantik, slaps myself* hehe. I guess i would know in 3 days time.

Untuk kesekian kalinya .

Semoga Allah redha akan kasih seorang saya kepada seorang awak. Semoga Allah pupuk cinta di hati seorang awak dan saya selepas sah akad. Semoga ada bahagia untuk seorang saya dan seorang awak, bersama sama sehingga ke Jannah. Biarlah saya menjadi bidadari di syurga yang memegang payung emas di sana menanti seorang awak. Hanya seorang awak di hati seorang saya.
Setelah Allah, Rasul S.AW dan ibu bapa. Hanya seorang awak. Tiada lain.

Selamat datang, bakal suami.

Saya kasih kan seorang awak. Kerana Allah

Seven

Time is realllyyyy flying by. Its 7 days left.
Well i just got back frm a course in pekan. And met some new friends who clicked with me straightaway. So today i sent irma back to her hse n her mom was askin when is the wedding. I was thinking then it hit me. Its NEXT WEEK!!!

Subhanallah. Allah i only pray for your strength to go thru it. Ayat drama. Hehe

But seriously thank you to mak abah for sacrificing their time energy money for me. Letting go their youngest daughter to someone else :/

To my sisters, all the 6 of you has been real helpful. I couldnt have asked for better sisters. Ive got u guys. And no matter what we will always be sisters. No matter what i will always love u guys. No matter what u will always have my prayer, love in shaa Allah. Terima kasih dari dulu jaga adik bongsu kalian. Buatkan susu. Berebut nak dukung. Kena tampar dengan abah semua org sbb adik bongsu jatuh katil. Sobs. For giving me one strength to always go on.

To my future pengapit. Please dont cry during my akad nikah. Cz if u cry i will definitely cry. Ok not that i wont cry if u dont cry. Hehe. I love u. Please know that. U have been one amazing person in my life. Ever since i became so close to u, i have learnt frm u on so many things. U always can read up my emotion so well thht sometimes its just frustrating that i cant hide my emotion. Hehe. Thank u for loving me this much.u will always hold up a special special place in my life.till jannah

The anxiety disorder

Hello..
Assalamualaikum

It is now almost three quarter of the month has passed by. Meaning i am now so close to my own wedding. My really own wedding. The one ive been dreaming of ever since i was a kid.
Kecik2 dulu berangan nk kahwin dgn anak raja. Berangan nak kahwin dgn celebrity. Berangan nak pakai wedding gown. Berangan nak pakai veil panjang2. Those were the days.

And now that i am so close to it. I think i kinda freak out. Im soooo anxious! There r soooo many things to be done. Things to be settled. Pengisian hati rasa mcm belum cukup. Its just so.....nerve wrecking i guess.

The one day where your life changes. Kepada puan. The responsibility you carry. Bertambah ahli keluarga. Now dosa pahala semua beralih pada sang suami. Goshhh.. Kalau fikir2 memang tak tidur malam. Huhu

And no. Tak kahwin dengan anak raja pun. Hehe.

All these while ive been reading people having wedding jitters. Now it is happening to me. Berdebar2 jantung ni bila fikir it is coming nearer and nearer...and nearer....

All i can do.. Is prat that Allah SWT bless this marriage. Bless both of us dgn kasih sayang dan rasa cinta. Ya Allah pupuklah kasih syg di antara kami setelah kami sah menjadi suami isteri nanti. Amin :')

Jujur saya katakan actually saya pun x berapa kenal sedalam dalamnya tentang bakal suami. Sebabnya memang we started off as friend. Tp jarak kami tak memungkinkan kami utk selalu bertemu. Kerja kami requires a lot of attention to it thus jarang ingt masa kerja. But when im off work, pasti ada rasa rindu. Tapi nak layan rindu lebih2 pun segan dgn bakal suami. Bahahaha.

Tak pernah pegang tangan. Pernah tersentuh. Tp tak pernah betul2 hold hands as in our hands entwined together. Pernah sentuh bahu yg berlapik baju. Maafkan ketelanjuran saya. Huhu. So buat saya makin nervous. To think that i have to hold his hand and salam and cium tangan sang suami nanti buat hati rasa sgt cuak. Hahaha

To think that we have decided to begin our life. Our family with each other for the rest of our lives is something i never imagined before. But kuasa Allah. Hati kita Allah yang punya.

Semoga Allah satukan hati kami dalam ikatan yg suci. Semoga redha Allah sentiasa memayungi kami. Semoga saya mampu taat, patuh, menyayangi, menjaga hati, menyenangkan hati suami satu hari nanti. Semoga juga sang suami akan turut mengasihi menyayangi membimbing seikhlas hati kerana Allah. Semoga saja kedua2 keluarga akan terjalin ukhwah. Semoga kami akan bersama sehingga akhirnya ke jannah.

Bukan tak pernah ada ragu. Pasti ada sebab takdir ketentuan semuanya samar2. Rahsia Allah. Tapi yakinlah hati pada seorang lelaki yg in shaa Allah tak pernah melupakan Nya. Semoga lelaki itu jalan terbaik untukku.

All the preparations 95% done. Surat kebenaran nikah. Hantaran. Pelamin. Baju. Invitation. Banyak lah bendanya. Alhamdulillah i have one understanding family.

Bilamana kakak saya whatsapp me that she feels sad that her youngest sissy is nw getting married. I cried. She said she cried while doing umrah with me dulu in front of kaabah cz at that moment i was hurt pretty bad. Now gone are the days. I just want to love a rightful man. In shaa Allah in 2 weeks time. Akan datang lelaki itu dalam hidup saya.


Ya Allah. Aku mohon berkat Mu. Aku mohon redha Mu. Aku mohon petunjuk Mu. Aku mohon Kau lindungi aku dari bisikan syaitan yg mampu menimbulkan ragu. Aku mohon hati yang bersih untuk kami meraih cinta Mu. Aku mohon kelancaran majlis kami. Aku mohon senangkanlah hati kedua ibu bapa kami dan seluruh keluarga kami dengan penyatuan kami. Aku mohon hapuskanlah segala duka terdahulu dan hadirkanlah kebahagiaan buat kami. Aku mohon kesetiaan. Aku mohon kekuatan. Aku mohon zuriat penyambung kasih sayang dan penyambung umat Muhammad. Aku mohon cinta ini untuk bersatu sehingga akhir hayat kami. Ya Allah hanya Engkau Maha tahu apa ada dalam hatiku maka sembuhkanlah dan permudahkanlah.

Amin

Buat lelaki itu.. Terima kasih kerana sudi menerima diriku yg terlalu banyak cacat cela. Tenanglah hati. Semoga cinta datang satu hari nanti. :')