came across this blog http://abil4fauziah.blogspot.com/
masyaAllah
thats how strong a person can be
bila dilanda ujian

so remmber
kalau diuji sikit kita dah mengeluh
let us just be thankful for the life we have
and dont forget to pray for those yang diuji

sesungguhnya Allah SWT itu maha adil
maha mengetahui
maha mengasihani

[1] Dengan nama Allah, Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.

[2] Segala puji tertentu bagi Allah, Tuhan yang memelihara dan mentadbirkan sekalian alam.

[3] Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.

[4] Yang Menguasai pemerintahan hari Pembalasan (hari Akhirat).

[5] Engkaulah sahaja (Ya Allah) Yang Kami sembah, dan kepada Engkaulah sahaja kami memohon pertolongan.

[6] Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus.

[7] Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau telah kurniakan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan (jalan) orang-orang yang Engkau telah murkai, dan bukan pula (jalan) orang-orang yang sesat.

bismillah.
thats the tafsir of Al Fatihah. permulaan segala ayat.
we recite al Fatihah everyday, in each solat, every rakaat.
tapi its a loss if we do not the meaning of the ayat

including me.
honestly ive never read the complete tafsir of the Quran
subhanallah. forgive me Allah
hope its not too late to start
lets starts sisters n brothers
hopefully Quran will always stay in our heart
insyaAllah

memo

Bismillahirahmanirrahim.

remember when i told u guys here i'll be leaving selangor?
i am now starting the countdown already :')
it is officially 15 more days in HTAR (Hospital Tengku Ampuan Rahimah, Klang)

cant believe it. yet it is still the truth
Allah is the greatest planner and me as the servant must trust His plan
insyaAllah this is for the best
but tipu lah kalau tak sedih kannn

actually sedih sangat..
the feeling of you have to get out from yr comfort zone.
but its okay. i know i' ll be okay.

for now. we are acting like normal.
like we wont say goodbye in few days time
tak mahu sedih2. just chill n live in the moment
but eventually we would have to part,
but i hope and pray it is only for a while.. :)

so here...
the most meaningful song for me.
this one is for my better half (insyaAllah)

Song : Memo
Singer : Yuna

i dont mind if you wanna stay
with that smile upon your face
hang around for a little while please
dont drive away even for a mile

different continents, its not a thing
cause i know that we'll be okay
endless borders, countless days
our love will pave the way

cause i'll be your wall
for you to lean on
when you fall just try to hold on
i'll be back in your arms
together we'll always be for what may come
for what may come

i dont mind if you're far away
i'll be waiting for you anyway
under the sky of sunshine or rain
i know im gonna be in your arms again

different continents, its not a thing
cause i know that we'll be okay
endless borders, countless days
our love will pave the way

cause i'll be your wall
for you to lean on
when you fall just try to hold on
i'll be back in your arms
try to hold on
i'll be back in your arms
together we;'ll always be for what may come :')

untuk awak. i hope you know that it breaks me to say goodbye.
im scared to move on, scared to lose you initially
but then again i believe He knows whats best for us.
if this is a small test for us, then let it be
:)
i trust you and i believe you trust me, too :)
and we trust Him more. so no worries i guess.
one day i'll be back. and i hope and pray things will get better each day
please know that you are always in my doa.
i do not know what the future holds for us.
but i pray you will stay. and be the one man leading me :)

if will never regret those long texts sent via viber in october, that one thing i did is the one finally leading me back closer to Him
thank you.
for your presence, for every smile you put on my face
for willing to 'paint' me as your fave and make me yours.
you will be fine in His watch.
and we will be fine InsyaAllah

ps: im not that far u know. but i know i will miss you. no one will pamper u in HTAR now. hehe,
take care my man. i will definitely cry ( dlm hati)
be strong, take care of your iman.

love.

the change

talking about a change.
well everyone needs a change.
maybe not now, but somehow everyone will have to change
cuma kadang2 mungkin the power of will tak cukup.
scared of everyone else's opinion

change meaning turning a new leaf
from not so good to good
from good to better
from better to best
insyaAllah

i am no angel
masih kadang2 terlepas kata.
terlepas perilaku
but i feel something since i turned 26 couple of weeks ago
although constantly thinking about it
cuma after my birthday tu.. something just happened in my heart
i couldnt precisely say what it is.
and another factor is maybe after reading his birthday wishes to me,
masya Allah i couldnt sleep after that.

and the experience of attending the Being Me course
makes me wanna cry,
masyaAllah i am so glad i went to the course
while i was driving on the way to Matrade last week.
there are many cars causing a tiny bit of traffic jams and all of them are Muslimah drivers.
their power of will to gain knowledge makes me feel so small
i was so excited and overwhelmed seeing the crowd. semuanya wanita Muslim covered up,
ramai2 dtg untuk dengar and gain knowledge.
i was blessed and always gonna be thankful that i went to the course :)

so i am gonna change bit by bit insyaAllah
i am full with sins. astaghfirullahazim.
they say once u feel it, that is the Hidayah
change yourself
cause u never know that might be the last Hidayah Allah sent to you
dont ignore it, you never know when you will be invited to alam barzakh

Alhamdulillah
thank you Allah for still loving me
though i am full with sins
ive wronged
thank you for sending the message right through my heart
help me to change
i need You

and thank you Allah for sending najmi to me
i do not know of what the future holds for us
but he taught me a lot
and brings me even closer to You.
i pray that he will be my Imam one day
the one guiding till Jannah insyaAllah
but if he is not meant for me, he is one blessing i will never forgot
yet will always be thankful for his presence.

and dear friends
please remind me if ever you see me astrayed
im weak
but i will try to change
insyaAllah

Radhi tu billahi rabba. wabil islami dina wabi muhammadin nabiyya warasula 

goodbye faith

a late entry. sebab i find it very hard to update via phone.
dont know why.

okay.
i was about to narrate about my final goodbye to faizal tahir :)
its not a big thing actually.
but to me, personally... it is a big thing
this does not comes out of sudden.
memang dah lama ada niat. tapi certain people asked me to at least wait for his solo concert
which happened on the 1st july. KL Live centre.
manusia berpegang pada janji kan :) so am i :)

personally. that night it wasnt the best coming out from faizal.
no gimmick. just him. :)
and his health condition does not permit him to perform that well.
but it was good. :) to me, it brings me back to those days when i first started
who would have thought that years could pass by so fast.
just like in a blnk of an eye.

it was a special night cause my favorite artiste performed,. with his great bandmates.
and my sisters were all there. well except kak asmak. and sue.
and my close friends from klang also participated.
and my better half was there with me :)
i am the happiest girl alive :)

remembering back. Faizal Tahir was not just FT,
he is always be remembered, as someone who is kind enough to pray for my success. i will never forget the day he prayed for my final exam. i was still touched when i read the doa. and i was a stranger to him at that time. but he prayed anyway :')
he is always gonna be the first and the last artiste that i sent off to the airport.
it happened in kota bharu kelantan.
and that was the first time i managed to 'talk' to him in person.  and saw him being him; loosened up.
:')
and he is always gonna be the one who nags a lot at me. and melatah a lot., hehe
and of course, he will always be the one who leads me to the rockensteiners family. and we bonded and built an ukhwah. kerana Allah. semoga Allah merestui

never again will i experence those moments.
the moment when he ignored me totally when he was on stage in Kota Bharu and even ran away when i tried to snap a picture with me, and said to me"eh awk siapa, tak kenal" . hehe
never again will i 'menggigil' after seeing him in person.
never again will i drive all the way to penang only to arrive in the dawn. and heard hanyut live for the first time at such hour. and saw them jagged face - too tired, and he was wearing a bathrobe. hehe.
those were the days
never again will i embarass myself by playing like a lil kid at the kids pool only to realize that the star is being interviewed at the lobby and he was looking straight at us. darn :P
never again will i be called as the royale FT frontliner,
and the name itself was not made up. it happened in hard rock penang- rock for the cure event.
he said on stage "can the front row people raise up their hands. just the front row. okay now turn around. turn aroud. okay people. these are my frontliners. " :') memories that cannot be replaced nor erased.
never again will i drive all the way to kuala terengganu in a small packed car. hehe.
never again will i hear those words " pandang orang2 sebelah kiri saya ni, mana saya pergi diorang selalu ada"
never again will i be able to take stupid faces pictures with him
never again will i be getting prank calls saying that theres an iftar event, only to find out that i was overdressed in my open house baju as he called it. haha :P
never again will i be racing my lil onit with his white knight
never again will i sing in front of him and the crowd on stage. hihi *ifar RC event*
never again will i order a shoe shaped cake nor a guitar shaped cake. :')

there are too many memories.
that the rest, i think its best for me to keep it on my own.
and so. it is hard for me cause we had so much memories.
ive watched his career expanding, success turning to reality.
witnessed his happy and sad moments.

but life has got to go on. i wanted a new me. for the benefits of myself.
maybe one day you will understand

and so. as promised
when he was about to sing semesta, as the closing song for the concert
part of me is breaking, realizing that this is the last one ill be holding hands singing along with the people i love, live in front of the rockstar himself.
and yes, i couldnt manage to look at him or the band.
it feels sad. to finally say goodbye.
no regrets. this is it.

i know he'll be fine.
there are so many people who will continue supporting him
and i will too. but this time only thru my prayers
doa saya segala yang terbaik untuk dia. semoga imannya bertambah seiring usia, semoga dia sabar, tabah, dan tidak mudah hanyut. amin
may you be guided by HIM in every way thats possible

terima kasih FT
for given me the chance to be the lucky one. among your thousands fan. i was lucky\
those memories i will always treasure and secure it.
one day i think im gonna tell my granddaughter that the legend faizal tahir used to know me. hehe. :P
thank you for everything that uve done
budi baik anda, saya ucap terima kasih yang teramat sangat. you are always kind to me.
i was blessed. :')
and i am sorry for this. i promised forever but thats not possible
people need hijrah, including me.
:)
auww but no worries, there are a lot more people behind u.

remember, i have given you my Faith,
keep it. and dont lose it

always me :)