the change

talking about a change.
well everyone needs a change.
maybe not now, but somehow everyone will have to change
cuma kadang2 mungkin the power of will tak cukup.
scared of everyone else's opinion

change meaning turning a new leaf
from not so good to good
from good to better
from better to best
insyaAllah

i am no angel
masih kadang2 terlepas kata.
terlepas perilaku
but i feel something since i turned 26 couple of weeks ago
although constantly thinking about it
cuma after my birthday tu.. something just happened in my heart
i couldnt precisely say what it is.
and another factor is maybe after reading his birthday wishes to me,
masya Allah i couldnt sleep after that.

and the experience of attending the Being Me course
makes me wanna cry,
masyaAllah i am so glad i went to the course
while i was driving on the way to Matrade last week.
there are many cars causing a tiny bit of traffic jams and all of them are Muslimah drivers.
their power of will to gain knowledge makes me feel so small
i was so excited and overwhelmed seeing the crowd. semuanya wanita Muslim covered up,
ramai2 dtg untuk dengar and gain knowledge.
i was blessed and always gonna be thankful that i went to the course :)

so i am gonna change bit by bit insyaAllah
i am full with sins. astaghfirullahazim.
they say once u feel it, that is the Hidayah
change yourself
cause u never know that might be the last Hidayah Allah sent to you
dont ignore it, you never know when you will be invited to alam barzakh

Alhamdulillah
thank you Allah for still loving me
though i am full with sins
ive wronged
thank you for sending the message right through my heart
help me to change
i need You

and thank you Allah for sending najmi to me
i do not know of what the future holds for us
but he taught me a lot
and brings me even closer to You.
i pray that he will be my Imam one day
the one guiding till Jannah insyaAllah
but if he is not meant for me, he is one blessing i will never forgot
yet will always be thankful for his presence.

and dear friends
please remind me if ever you see me astrayed
im weak
but i will try to change
insyaAllah

Radhi tu billahi rabba. wabil islami dina wabi muhammadin nabiyya warasula