SPA interview

had my SPA interview this morning. hehe. mula2 mcm nervous, pastu jadik tak nervous. pastu jadik nervous balik :P

the interview was held at KL, jalan cenderasari. hehe. dah la sedikit sesat2 masa nak pergi tuh.

sampai2 SPA around 715. awal lagi. sempat borak2, sempat wat study group kecil :p

then pendaftaran, dapat group E. turn keempat. hehe.

the interviewer dato kee from SPA, and dr faizal; traumatologist from HKL (eceh nama nak same ngan anak pakcik tahir :P :P) *stop it already, obsessed sgt dah ni. heheheh*

so bila my turn sampai;

knock knock the door. open.

me :assalamualaikum and good morning

datokee & dr F: give us your folder, and please have a seat

me : ok thanks

dato kee: how are you feeling now arifah?

me: well to start off with, i feel excited to finish off my 5 years of study, but at the same time, i'm a bit nervous to start working, to start a new chapter.

dato'kee: why do you choose this field?

me: well it has always been a dream since i was small though i must admit, partly it came from my parents though they never forced me or anything, but i know they wanted someone from the family to be a doctor (cewahh. haha)

dato kee: so did you manage to have a life during medical school days?

me: *smiles widely* yup i managed to have a life, doing all my favorite things on my off days.

dato kee: what did you do normally?

me: nothing specific, but normally i spent my free days with my family, and friends.

dato kee: so you are the family type?

me: yes i am. *smiles widely again*

dato kee: are u actively involve in activities during college?

me: not that active, only occasionally involve in sports, such as netball (haha. sekali je kot aku main for sports day masa kat shah alam dulu). im not that good in sports to begin with (honesty is the best policy)

dato kee and dr F: *smiles*

dato kee: tell us something about yr elective project abt causes of sudden death among young adults? this is interesting because i had a friend..bla bla bla

me: well, it was a retrospective study, went to Forensic Dept of HKL and collect the data there. we thought the most common cause must be cardiovascular in origin, surprisingly the data showed respiratory as the most common cause.

dr F: really? why is that?

me: well mainly because of pulm TB, and embolism.

dr F: how abt other causes?

me: explain la lagi bla bla bla....

dr F: interesting, you can get this kind of study published u know

me : *smiles*

dr F: what's your interest? any specialization yet?

me: i havent chosen yet, though i must say my interest is a bit more going towards internal medicine

dato kee: it suits you as a woman.

me: hehe

dr F: which field specifically ? cardiology? respiratory?

me: well, as of today, i'm a bit more interested in respiratory and endocrinology

dr F: good good. u can go for MRCP if you are really interested

me: oh, we can directly go for MRCP after housemanship is it?

dr F: yes yes, u can do that. but you must be prepared, dont go blindly, it will be a waste of money f you do that

me: oh how much does it cost for the MRCP papers?

dr F : around rm3000 for each paper. if you are really interested, you can start preparing from now.

me: insyaallah, i will think of it, though i must say my main focus is on the coming professional exam

dr F: sure sure

dr F: okay since you're going to be an internal medicine specialist, let me give you a situation

me: okay (dalam hati berdebar2. hehe)

dr F: this is your first time on call in ED, a 60 yr old man collapsed, not breathing, and no pulse. what will you do?

me: first, call for help.then bla bla bla..(fuh lega dapat jawab. hehe)

dr F: okay, so i'm glad u know. prepare yourself to be a houseman, life is getting tougher u know.

me: yes insyallah.

dr F: all the best to you, study smart, dont study hard

me: insyallah.

dato Kee: btw i love your color combination today. its bright pink right?

me: yes yes *smiles*

dato kee: and yr handbag is gray, ohh it matches with your shoes. nice shoes

me: thank you so much

drF: this is what a doctor should look like, professional.

me: *gelak dalam hati* hehe

okay that's all. heheh

penat kan baca. padan muka :P

so SPA settled. lepas ni focus on exams yeee!!

cuak ):

its just a update

salam semua. how are u guys doing? :)

sekarang sgt busy ohh. i have my end of posting exam next week. tolong doakan ye kawan2..

this will be my lastttt end of posting, lepas ni will be my study week

and of course, my final exam yo!

haishh

tak tahu lah nak cakap perasaan ni mcmane.

in another 2 days time, im gonna have my Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam interview.

berdebar sebab dah lama tak kena interview :P hehe

hope it goes well, it better be. sebab we carry our faculty name. huhu

and oh, sudah dapat borang houseman.

and isyaallah ive decided which hospital i wanna go.

doakan ye:)

and oh, i already got my copy(ies) of faizal tahir's new album, adrenalin :)

suke sgt ok! hehe.

struggled to get the copies of cd because mula2 semuaaaa kedai cd tak de lagi.

but alhamdulillah ade rezeki. now i have 2 copies of adrenalin, one with black cover, and one with the white cover. obsessed? no lah. it's just a hobby. haha

and oh, with the stamps, and postcards :)

the songs are all very very good. well maybe u said i'm being biased :p

my personal favourite is hanyut, its gonna be a hit once dah keluar on air nanti, i think

and semesta is a nice song too---lagu ni untuk fans dia, so macam indirectly for me, kan?

tapi hari ni merajuk ngan kakak no 6 saya.

dia dapat sign FT, with her name on it. and she is not even a fan of FT. demmm

T___________T

ok.ive gotta study. for interview,for exam. for my future :)

takde kaitan letak gmbr my darlings. i miss u boyssssss. rindu hariz gak, tapi next entry gmbr hariz pulak ok. ini gmbr dorang berebut mainan :P

my precious, peneman tidur, peneman berjaga, penemanku sentiasa. thank u mr faizal tahir. your songs rock my world :)

like a rock we are, you are the hope, i am the faith, we'll be forever through all the sun and rain that comes :)

cuba kau dengar.

hari tu mood rasa sungguh down

kenapa? because i think i've lost someone close

and that made me rasa so weak, so wasted.

it almost made me cry. but on the contrary, my tears just couldnt fall.

spent the days with my sayangs.

semoga Allah panjangkan usia persahabatan kita. and i love u guys so much

but i still feel a wee bit sad.

sambil dengar lagu cuba dari superman kesayangan.

tak nak cakap lebih2

cuma rasa kecewa bila someone yang uve acknowledged sebagai someone very important turned out to be, not that person you thought they are.

kecewa bila akhirnya things turned out to be this way

tapi sumpah

aku penat jaga hati orang

and it turned out that people dont ever care about my feelings

so im letting it all out

i just wanna take care of myself. i dont bother about your feelings

kalau betul aku dah berubah, just let me be.

maaf ku pinta

entry ini sedikit panjang. jangan baca kalau tak nak.

ive got to come clean. before i sit for my final, before sy menjejakkan kaki ke tanah suci in few months time insyaAllah.

untuk someone yang pernah bergelar sahabat. yang pernah menjadi teman rapat. yang agak rapat. yang memang rapat lah sebenarnya. teman yang pernah buat aku senyum bila aku hampir menangis. teman yang bagi aku harapan, bila aku rasa dunia ni dah jadi gelap.

terima kasih, sebab pernah buat aku tersenyum gembira

terima kasih sebab pernah bagi semangat untuk aku, suruh aku belajar rajin2, suruh aku jangan putus asa. sebab pernah kisahkan aku dalam hidup kau.

aku bersyukur sebab Allah kurniakan kau dalam hidup aku, pada saat dan ketika yang aku memang perlukan bimbingan. u've made me realize about the greater things in life. terima kasih.

walaupun sekejap je friendship kita ni, tapi tak tahu lah kenapa kan. macam berbekas di hati. macam buat aku terkenang-kenang. biasa lah kan, bila kita kehilangan orang yang pernah rapat dalam hati kita, rasa macam janggal, buat kita terkenang-kenang semua lah. itulah aku, bila kau pergi tanpa pesan.

aku jadi susah hati. mula-mula aku ingat kau sakit. sebab tiba-tiba kau senyap tanpa berita, dalam hati mestilah risau. kalau betul-betul kau sakit, mesti sedih. tapi setelah berhari-hari tiada berita, aku cuba untuk get back to you. tapi nada suara macam sihat sangat, dan bunyi suara yang macam orang kata tak berapa sudi nak bercakap. jadi aku malu sendiri.

that was the last time i ever heard from you. selepas itu tiada lagi

from days, it has gone to weeks, months. kosong. tiada apa-apa. walaupun sepatah kata, tetap tiada. pelik bila manusia memang senang berubah. sesenang itu seseorang manusia boleh berubah, sekelip mata. takde angin, takde ribut. terus berubah, macam orang yang hilang ingatan. sesenang itu boleh lupakan seseorang. memang hebatlah kan.

kalau seorang kawan boleh berubah macam tu, maknanya mungkin value friendship aku pada dia takde makna apa-apa. maka sia-sialah semua yang pernah disacrifice kan for the sake of this friendship

sebab hakikat yang nilai persahabatan aku pada kau, takde apa-apa makna. dulu, konon kau kisahkan aku. sekarang, sepicing ingatan pun kau tiada pada aku. kau buat aku bangun dari mimpi yang dulu, dan bila saat aku hampir boleh berdiri, kau buat aku jatuh lagi. sakit tahu? pasti kau tak tahu. sebab kau orangnya baik, orangnya cukup sempurna, tak mungkin layak untuk aku jadikan teman.

aku cuba untuk maafkan kau. walaupun aku tahu hakikatnya, ini bukan salah siapa2, sebab terpulang pada individu untul decide to stay friends with someone or not. tapi aku tetap terkilan. terkilan sebab sejauh ni kau drag aku, and lepas tu kau biar, buat-buat macam aku tak pernah wujud, nice... i know uve been avoiding me. sebab untuk share a few mutual friends di alam maya pun kau tak sudi, fine oh fine.

kau macam budak-budak, yang pernah aku sayang, dan aku benci.

sampai hari ni, aku cuba cari jalan yang paling baik untuk lupakan semuanya. seolah-olah macam kita tak pernah jumpa, tak pernah kenal, tak pernah dengar suara kau. sebab aku benci. bila orang yang baik dengan aku boleh turn over a new leaf dlm sekelip mata. tanpa kata-kata. sampai hari ni, aku belum boleh maafkan kau dengan seikhlas hati, aku cuba. pasti akan cuba. dan akan terus mencuba lagi.

aku tak tahu kenapa perlu tulis macam ni hari ni. padahal aku janji sudah mahu lupakan. tapi aku cuma manusia, aku bukan macam kau yang boleh lupakan semuanya. kau memang hebat, sebab sedikit pun kau sudah tidak pedulikan aku. tiada langsung agaknya ruang di hati kau untuk aku. pelik kan.

aku cuba speculate macam-macam benda tentang perubahan kau. dan konklusi yang aku dapatkan tetap sama. cuma aku cukup terkilan. sebab uve started all this. u shouldve not gone anywhere near me in the first place, tahu?

kau cakap dulu, kau tak suka main2 kan perasaan orang, kalau tak nak terus terang. nice oh nice. what have you done now. and ive come to believe that you are a good person. manusia oh manusia

apa-apa pun. terima kasih. aku jugak minta maaf atas semua dosa aku. aku banyak dosa, aku mengaku. aku berdosa sebab cakap pada kawan2 aku kau dah mati. memang bagi aku kau dah lama mati, cuma tanpa kubur. biarlah. satu hari nanti, pasti hikmahnya akan nampak jelas. cuma aku harap. kau tak ulang lagi apa yang telah kau buat pada aku kepada orang lain. jangan sampai kau ulang lagi.

aku harap kau bahagia. aku harap kau sihat sejahtera. aku harap kau sentiasa dalam lindungan-Nya sebab sebagaimana sakit pun aku kau buat, aku masih mampu untuk ingat kau.

jangan cuba datang balik pada aku, sebab aku takut dalam diri aku yang tidak sempurna ni, masih ada rasa dendam. dan aku cuba untuk tidak berdendam walaupun payah.

mungkin sebenarnya saat ini, aku rindukan kau. rindu kenapa? aku pun tak tahu. tapi selagi aku manusia, selagi aku masih bernafas, aku tahu sebenarnya aku takkan mampu untuk erase semua yang pernah aku lalui. pengalaman pasti akan mematangkan, bukan?

terima kasih mar, for all the memories weve shared. walaupun tak banyak mana. but u were there satu ketika dahulu. i am sorry for all my wrongdoings, for all my imperfections. u have caused me so much pain, and i think u should know that. because what u did to me, was nothing to be proud of. satu hari nanti, semoga aku mampu untuk memaafkan, tanpa ada rasa dendam.

semoga satu hari nanti, kau akan bisa menjadi seorang yang matang, dan satu ketika nanti baru kau akan tahu betapa sakitnya aku.

ps : layan lagu FT jommm :)