Tuesday, January 26, 2010

ini lirik lagu okay :P



Aku ingin engkau ada disini
menemaniku saat sepi
menemaniku saat gundah

berat hidup ini tanpa dirimu
ku hanya mencintai kamu
ku hanya memiliki kamu

aku rindu setengah mati kepadamu
sungguh ku ingin kau tahu
aku rindu setengah mati

meski tlah lama kita tak bertemu
ku slalu memimpikan kamu
ku tak bisa hidup tanpamu

aku rindu setengah mati kepadamu
sungguh ku ingin kau tahu
ku tak bisa hidup tanpamu
ak
u rindu…

lagu d masiv, rindu setengah mati

layann kan aje :P



mari merepek



it's the mixed emotions again. hehe
barely have time to update sebenarnya but have loads to tell
tapi rasa macam malas pulak
i am now in the middle of reading about sequeale of gallstones.
pastu rasa mengantuk. kemudian rasa nak makan pau.
memang lah boom boom paw! :D ehe (merepek. kan)

i had my family dinner last weekends. it was awesome
abah treat us for dinner sempena an achievement. tapi tak boleh la cakap ape. hehe
we wore all blue :) significant? takde pape pun, just nak nampak harmony aman and makmur mcm tuh. hehe
it was fun, everybody were there, well except for my niece yang kat tkc tuh. and my BIL in dubai. pity themmm.

oh malas lah nak upload gmbr, tengok la kat fb kan. hehe.

my exam is coming. i have 3 more days untuk sumbat2 surgical knowledge dlm kepala
berazam ingin do my best for this posting, mcm bersemangat sangat lah. hehe
i'm gonna do my best oh semua examiners! wait for mee. ewah! :P

professional 3 is just in 80 plus days. cuak kan.
so seriously apologize again if i susah sangat nak contact. hehe.
ive been ignoring ym, handphones juga at times
hehe

oh, semalam 25th january was our 11th anniversary of friendship. sudah 11 tahun kita kenal kan. i love u to bits my dear glace!! rinduuu sangat!!!
and oh, i miss az, dila, efie, arock, pipot and semuaaa lahhh!
:/

and oh, congrats sekolah seri puteri, sudah jadi top 20 schools in malaysia
i'm proud! hehe

okay dah penat. nak sambung belajar
wait for my update after exam.
ive got shawls to sell.
she sells shawls in her blog. hehe.
wish me luck ppl :*

Monday, January 18, 2010

takdir.





a patient was admitted to SH
main complaint was of upper abdominal pain, radiate to the back
he's 20 years old, previously fit and well.
no other complaints

on examination
he was found to have abdominal mass
with dullness all over the abdomen.
the probable liver span was 24cm. but the area of dullness was from the 2nd intercostal space of the right ribs up to right iliac fossa
Thraub's space was dull
on lung examination
there was reduced air entry, more prominent on the right, reduced vocal fremitus
presence of stony dullness
no added sound.
apex beat was displaced, at the 6th intercostal space lateral to midclavicular line

they suspected lung collapse (atelectasis).
some even suspected right pleural effusion which have pushed the liver downwards.
but investigations revealed probability of LUNG CANCER
lung cancer in a 20 year old, with no history of smoking whatsoever, sangat rare.

he was admitted on weekend of 10th/11th january
was well throughout the admission
does not have pain, only mild pain.
was very cooperative eventhough we repeatedly disturbed him by repetitive examinations

and....
last saturday, 17th january 2010
he passed away.
complained of shortness of breath at 8pm
collapsed at 9pm.
resuscitated by 2 attempts of cardio-pulmonary resuscitation
but he never regained the consciousness
was pronounced dead

we were so shocked
he was so well. so nice.
and he's only 20.
supposed to be in his final semester in his diploma of electronic engineering
sedih.

memang semua ini kerja Allah
ajal, jodoh, maut semua di tangan Allah
tapi tetap terkejut.
mungkin Allah lebih menyayangi.
sebab itu senang sangat dia pergi, kan?
he didn't suffer from the illness that bad.

cuma sedih jugak.
sebab he was the youngest child
and he passed away alone, parents were not around mase tuh because bukan visiting hour

let's all recite al-fatihah and yassin to him
semoga arwah ditempatkan di syurga. Amin.

i have to prepare emotionally to face death more frequently, no? huhu :|

let's call it a day!


i should be going to sleep. it's been a real productive day. went to the hospital, clerk cases, did physical examination, found interesting findings of the patient, went back to college for my nap.hehe. then went for roti nan cheese with ayam tandoori, did my case write up (almost almost finsihing.hehe), prepared history for tomorrow's ward round and bedside teaching, did mcq for tomorrow night's latih tubi, read up on few subtopics. fuhh. i should be exhausted now dont i? hehe. but maybe i'm in my manic phase, the adrenaline rush is just there. kan bagus kalau hari2 macam ni? hehe

nway i am so happy with my life now, not because of anything of a particular reason mind you. is feels good to be this way. hehe. talking about being single, i used to think that being single would be the last thing that i wanna do. hehe. but, i am now enjoying every second of it. it feels soo good! and i am not exaggerating it ok. if i know it would be this refreshing, i would have chosen to be single a long time ago. hehe. :P

and since my life is so so busy right now, i barely have time to go through all the emotional package of being involved. like getting into a fight every now and then, having to jaga hati insan2 tertentu. and then u have to justify yourself whenever you ran late going back to college. i left that routine for quite some time now.

initially, sure i kinda miss the routine calls, like the feeling that someone of a different gender actually cares for you, all those sweet words. (haha) but after quite some time, i get used to the changes. sure i got no texts in the middle of the night, or the sudden urge to call him in the middle of night, hence disturbing my sleep, hence disturbing my concentration ability for the next morning. poyo kan? :P

i am now also more free in spending my money the wiser way. NOT! haha. bila shopping tuh, all i care about is myself right now. i wanted to buy things for myself, and i dont have to even think about buying something for him. hehe. jimat kannn? :D

and oh, i made new friends. i am so free to flirt with anyone. seronok kan (*GRINSSS* ) eh ter-Caps Lock pulak. hehehe

see, it's all soooo refreshing! :)
ok people, let's call it a day, shall we?

ps : malam tadi mimpikan arwah. pagi tadi terkejut sebab ingat ade call coming from arwah. lupa plak, kalau dah arwah mana boleh main telefon2 lagi. ingat vampire ke ape. huuuu

pps : i think you missed me, dont you?