happy birthday to me

so i turned 26 today :)

alhamdulillah another year older, wiser also i hope :) hehe. juga berdoa semoga iman bertambah seiring dengan usia. insyaAllah.

2 years back, i had my birthday in mekah - the best moment ever! :') masih rindukan tanah suci itu. 

a year back, i celebrated with my sisters plus with my momot, dee, kat nerofico. memories. :)

and last year ive received a watch for my bday, which started everything :)

and okay, this year my close friends in klang threw me a surprise party, the first one was on 15th june, friday ( 2days before my birthday)

ahli2 terlibat : fiza, feela, alia, wong, fai, azila, syazana, azreen, tariq, fir, yinn, hafiz, azan, faizal,kaksue, kakya, and him :)

i was told by kaksue untuk temankan dia jumpa client in klang. i agreed to it, since memang takde pape pn masa tu, but i was reluctant untuk pergi apartment bayu perdana tu cz tak berapa pandai jalan tu. so i told kaksue, why not jumpa client at starbucks bukit tinggi cz masa tu happy hour, the frappucinos all are half price! hehe 

but dia ckp tanak jumpa kat situ sbb her client is an old man, with parkinson. (erks) hehe.

so i picked her up from her office n kakya pn ada sekali. i was so hungry cz rushing from putrajaya jugak masa tu. so when we arrived there, kaksue berkelakuan aneh by keep on laughing n sorok her phone from me *weird plus angry face* hehe.

pusing2 to find the parking space suddenly nampak kereta yinn, fiza n feela *dlm hati terus sumpah fiza sbb she lied to me kata kerja frm 3-10pm, pffft*

and paling kelakar kaksue told me the parkinson uncle tngu kat tepi pool to sign those documents. haih. pelik2.

so i went out to teman her and pandang kiri..... saw the group of them altogether. 

for a brief second both sides jadi stunned and only then dorang jerit surprise.

god it was a surprise! hehehe. sampai i ended up cekik kaksue for getting involved.

i was speechless tapi dlm hati upset sikit sbb wong was not there, and najmi pn tade, dua2 lambat. huhuuuu. sedihhh :(

 thank u boys and girls for the thoughts! hehehe. i will definitey remember this one!

 scene masa mula2 sampai. cekik kaksu. peluk fiza. cekik fiza. hehe

got pressies from my 2 brothers : azan n faizal. thanks u guys! 

 my early birthday celebration! yeayyy :D

 my props : balloon plain. :P hehe. okay2 im grateful enough takde balloon helium pn takpe dah :P

 the girls! the early birds la :P

me :)n- the cake dihias atas pasu n dikelilingi rumput. thanks fir :D

 one happy family. ehh, insyaAllah :D

bbq, muffins, cake, the deco, everything was perfect, thanks u guys :D

then of course i did not expect anything else from them. i was working on saturday, ended work at 7pm. memang emotional cz he told me hes working night shift. *memang i get cranky upset plus2 , mengadu non stop n pujuk dia suruh EL. hehe. *

so the plan just to chill with the girls. and bowling for that night sebab mmg dah pinky swear promise dgn wong for boling, hehe.

and i was car-less. my car was with kakya. sbb the day before dah kena kidnap for the surprise party. hehe

so fiza picked me up at 715ish. i texted him, told him our plan for the night. he just said okay, enjoy the night. hes gonna go to hosp sg buloh to send a patient there. *sad face*

we went to jeram. nak makan seafood wong ckp, and fiza was getting cranky cz she had to drive jauh plus cranky sbb urti :P haha.

but i noticed shes a bit occupied with her phone, but nevermind, just kept quiet.

arrived at aroma ikan bakar, pilih2 ikan. they all get excited and chose ikan besar sotong besar plus udang besar smbil gelak2,. i chose to gelak je. hehe

fiza n kamarul pn sebok jalan nak cari meja cantik2. 

done with the orders, suddenly perasan fiza n kamarul gelak2 plus pandang2 the other side., till i hear a birthday song sang by the staffs, together with a cake. 

and i saw my man, at the corner *i thought i was seeing things, hehe* wearing a white shirt, smiling all the way

honestly i was so speechless. hehe.

i was overwhelmed and rasa nak nanges but too happy too cry. hehe :')

and so candles ditiup lagi skali, kek potong lagi skali :D hehe.,

i was told that all of it are planned by him, auwww :)

seriously i was soooo touched. hehe, 

hopeless romantic is what fiza called him

nonetheless. i am sooo touched by everything he did to me :D

post dinner, after my man paid for everything, we all went to kg kuantan to watch firefliessss.

auwww :')

i always wanted to go there. tak sangka finalllyyy dapat jugak!

hehe

it was dark and dah takde orang,

supposedly the place closed at 1030 pm

kitorang smp dah 1130pm :P

hehe

so we went in the boat. at sharp 12 midnight they sang me a birthday song again in the boat with fireflies around us., alololo comel sgt :D

thank u to my man, for everything, for finally opening up :) thank u for everything syg! for the surprises, card, presents, n for being there with me., thru my emotional dramas. nasihat awk arifah pegang and ingat insyaAllah sampai syurga :)

and today, the real birthday. hehe. went for lunch with my parents, sisters n him. :) we went for lunch at hadra mawt. like a big happy family. itu doa saya, setiap detik ketika. insyaAllah

i just love to see him blending in the family.

semoga Allah restui dan permudahkan jalan dan urusan yang akan datang 

amin

thank you to everyone who called, texted, whatsapp-ed, line-ed, fb-ed, twitt-ed- for all the wishes and prayers. it means a whole lot to me,

thank you for making me feel special today,

semoga Allah berkati hidup kalian juga.

Amin

doa saya sempena usia 26 cuma satu, semoga Allah jadikan saya lebih baik dari sebelumnya, dari semua segi, insyaAllah,

it took me 26 years to be able to feel this. and i say Alhamdulillah :')

it has been 2 years

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

mixed feelings while writing this. we're all coming an end towards month of may, soon june will come, and by july, it has been 2 years. 2 years ive worked, and insyaAllah will complete my housemanship training period by then. tak sangka masa cepat sangat sangat berlalu :')

this one place that i hate initially menjadi semakin dekat di hati.

the one place that has given me my first ever real patient, has given me new friends, all sorts of knowledge ; be it medical or life per se, and also the place where i found love.

all these while. i keep on seeing people leaving to another place, all my senior house officers, most of them already left. and now, believe it or not. my time has come :')

sebak hati. seriously, i actually cried after knowing where i will be posted. buat masa sekarang coz there is no official letter yet, so better i remain silent. :') but its far, hundreds of kilometers away. 

i started off with Obstetric & Gynaecology. masih terbayang2 masa tu, being the most junior. rasa stress sangat especially during the tagging period. coz it requires me to obtain 10 normal deliveries etc etc so kena put extra hour, extra effort, mentang2 baru masuk kerja so memang stress sgt... i can still recall my first oncall, i was so nervous, i was put in the antenatal ward, ward 1B, dengan senior - sharifah nora. hehe

she looked damn serious, so cuak2 mcm tikus la jadinye. but turns out she teach me byk sgt. and now shes my ED mo pun :) during this posting i was close to diyana, fairuza. gosh i really miss those moments. bulan puasa n raya pun masa kat o&g. still remembered each time nak berbuka je, time tu la ada patient nak bersalin. dugaannn.. hehe

and masa raya pertama, dengar takbir from the ward. huiii feeling tak payah nak cakap la. syahdu sangat :') those were the days n will remain as memories .

next, i went to surgery, juga masih bersama fairuza, syazana (uitm team) hehe. masa surgery banyak kerja dengan senior2. be it uitm senior and  senior Ho lain. work together with awie, hazim (my Uitm seniors) and also met kak Nurul Nadia Baharum - she really taught me a lot. masa tu she was pregnant. so basically kerja saya hari2 kat ward pagi2 akan teman dia breakfast, hence i looked chubby a bit when i was in surgery. it was okay-ish posting. im not really into surgery and such, but i managed and cope coz of the fun teammates. :) kenangan masa surgery was - when i was posted in trauma ward, ward 3b. i took care of one patient yang ada severe head injury. he was in a deep coma, gcs was not full (couldnt remember already berapa exactly) and he was ventilated for so long they decided for a tracheostomy, (alat bantu nafas yang pasang kat leher)

i took care of him for months, and when i left, masa tu he actually can obey command sikit2, bila suruh dia angkat tgn n salam he will obey me. never did i know one day i will terserempak with him n his family yang dah kenal saya. they all called me n i stopped, looking confused, then i realized that was the boy i used to marah hari2 sebab tanak buka mata. surprisingly he is well (Alhamdulillah, almost cried at that time) and he salam me properly. :) that one reallly made me happy.

and cz of the consultant in the ward really particular about the patient's general condition, so kitorang kena shave patient when needed, potong kuku, buat dressing kat sacral sore yang besar gile, fuhhh memoriesss 

and seterusnya, my awesomest medical posting. masa ni medical was super fun because one whole gang entered medical. so eventhough workload dia mmg super banyak, but the stress kerja tu kurang cz u know u got real friends with you yang tak berkira kerja, i was lucky. :) memang the whole gang satu ward so eventho kitorang penat mcmana pun, we would always cover each other up, help each other up and from here i started getting close with sarah wong n fiza.. okay the whole gang was me, fiza, sarah wong, siti sarah, alia, hazrul, azreen, feela,najmi (ehem. hehe), fairuza. n leader pun awesome masa tu, it was juita. 

despite all the EOD oncalls, endless work, but seriously it was fun, managed to do a peritoneal dialysis, inserted a femoral vein cath, central venous line and many many others. this was when i started knowing najmi. hehe, despite all the busy-ness, suddenly he became one of the person i confide in. hihi. okay enough.

among the unforgettable memories were, there was this one morning i was oncall. so nak amik morning bloods yang memang banyakkk gile ( we have to start at 3am untuk finish up the whole ward on time) . so there was this one pakcik kat 1st cubicle, i kejutkan him n mcm biasa la, encik amik darah sikit ye, and pricked him with one attempt terus dapat je darah dia. but his hand mcm bengkak sikit, i dont know whether its the fragile vein or what but i compressed it for him. then afterwards when i was in 2nd cubicle suddenly the patient bising2 saying all sorts of things n was plain rude to me cz tgn dia sakit dia ckp. and he even angkat his tongkat and nearly hit me till one of my colleague stopped him, seriously i was shivering at that point of time, shocked and angry, yeah i was angry cz without reason n plain rude he treated me. so in the end he asked for my name to lodge a report against whoever he wants to complain with, and i proudly say my name is arifah, please go ahead to complain against me - lepas tu masuk bilik ho and nanges kat dlm cz i cant stop shievering. hehe, drama of the day! cz later when my friends dtg at 7am semua org terkejut seeing me crying there, :P

and there was this one night i was oncall with fairuz alia n siti sarah, it was a super busy night with non stop admissions and the 3 of us almost collapsed attended to the cases non stop. so it happened lala tersengguk kat meja and patient lodge a complaint jugak,

sometimes people forgotten that we are all human. we feel tired, we are hungry and sometimes we need to pee too you know, we are not superhuman for god's sake. 

after medical, i went to ortho, nothing special actually. except that feeling of really missing medical, and the people in it (okay maybe sebenarnya rindu najmi. hehe) so i think mainly i sailed thru the posting aje. not much memories of it i think. tapi rakan2 ward  best, as usual fairuza, naeemah, farah deena. hehe. lepas roud je makan. kalau x makan tido :P

then came paeds. i started on 1st nov 2011, and that specific date has its own memories :) stressful initially sebab being posted in special care neonatal ward. (SCN). ramai sgt baby jaundice, veins plak semua kecil2 je.. cucuk2 nnt lebam extra -__- hehe. but i got lucky cz hes also in paeds. okay lambat 2 minggu kot. but was happy throughout cz he was there, although tak sama group. but seeing him sekejap pun made my heart smile :) but masa ni jugak la dugaan bertimpa2. hehe. alhamdulillah managed to went thru it all. 

masa paeds, i was again involved in an incident, masa tu i was the one who attended the delivery (paeds standby) and the baby required admission to nicu. so staaff nurse pun kasi admission form yg dah siap berisi to me n i signed it blindly. rupanya salah label gender kat situuu. so jadi big issue sekejap but Alhamdullilah everything is fine. masa kat paeds jugak we went for a holiday to cherating. and i really really missed those moments. im gonna miss u guys sooo much!

ad my final posting which is my current one, emergency department. so far ive enjoyed working here but biasala kalau specialist perangai pelik, pelik la jadinya,. hehehe.

this was the summary of all the postings, where i was supposed to practice n gain as much knowledge cz soon ill b the one making decision. 

:')

this was masa 1st posting. hari sukan O&G! hehehe.

gosh this was 2 years back!!

 me n fairuza. sama since 1st posting lagi. till now.

i will definitely miss her :(

this was in hard rock singapore. we went to singapore after O&G.

 diyana. one of my close buddy in htar.will miss her too!!!

the happy momentss!!!

in singapore!

we turn into robots!

this was masa 2nd posting, see my chubby face! hehe

at sarah wong's place. masa ni baru2 nak baik ngan ahwong :P

diyana, fairuza n awie

the surgery team

this, a present from him masa medical

which made me...

err..

err..

ape2 lah :P

me ah wong n fiza,, 

during medical

at 9th floor room loitering :P

  

this was during my ortho time.,

brought them to janda baik :D

the rituals,.

our starbucks session :')

damn i will miss u guys the most!

dr manisha yang comel with ahwong n me

our dinner treat in serai empire

my girls.

in cherating 

love u to bits

the four of us went crazy in bandung

hehe

at sarah wong's place

masa ni bulan puasa we wanted to cook n bbq

:D

him n sharin

muka kenyang buka puasa. hehe

then we played fooseball. hehe.

this was the early days when i started to fall for him :P

berbuka at our house in andalas,

the xoxo gangs

at janda baik :)

orang2 htar ckp kitorang kembar. muka sama.

always melekat bersama2 :)

all the xoxos with my parents

at teratak tok awang kenalau janda baik :D

the ever 1st picture :P

this is it. HTAR :')

in PAC. masa 1st posting :)

thank you HTAR. you have been a great place for me to grow up. youve made me suffered, made me smile, laughed, made new friends, found love. 

it really is heartbreaking to leave. maybe i have built my comfort zone here. my daily routine would be masok kerja habis kerja, then hangout with sarah, fiza and the list goes on...

being away means i have to say goodbye. and i sucks at that. this will be indeed my hardest goodbye.

people always say forever that one day we will meet again but we all know thats not the case all the time. people changed, and got married. they have a family and sooner all you know its been years since you last meet that person. 

honestly i will miss you guys so much, that words alone are never enough to express my feelings. i cried my lungs out yesterday. im having fear of the unknown. wherever life takes us to, please know that you guys will be deeply missed. and it sucks of having to start over and make new friends, but thats life as it is :')

regardless, thanks for being by my side, for being my companinon all these while, who listened, never judging and for being the real friends that u guys are.

it breaks my heart too of having to say goodbye to him. sayu. sebak, but he seemed to not mind of not having me around. haih. i shouldnt be scared i know, cz semua kuasa Tuhan. but not seeing his face for quite some time will definitely made me cranky (ier)

fiza said, cherish the moment, dont think too much. sarah said, no matter where i am she will come visit. azan said, please appeal, im worried tgk u mcm ni :p haha. *syndrom bengong sgt smlm*  faizal said : nnt we'll come n visit. and he said: i will apply the same place as you are posted to.

u guys are kind, deifinitely will make me cry again.

till then.

i let u know when my day is up and the letter is made official.

living in the moment, blessed.

a special entry today 

in conjunction with 

my dearest sarah wong's birthday :)

i met her when i was in my surgical posting. that was in november 2010. omg da lama sgt :) 

she entered the posting a week earlier i think. but basically tagging time sama je :D

my first impression to her was : cantik, tinggi tapi mcm i dont think we can click together. :p

never did i know that she will leave a huge impact to me later. hehe. 

during medical days, that was when we started becoming closer and closer and closer :D

till now. altho sekarang mcm susah nak jumpa because of the shift thingy. but we would always find time to see each other, be it 5 minutes pun. its nice to know that you actually have real person who really care about your well being in a busy environment. im blessed, i have it all :)

its been a great time spent with you. be it during the crazy oncall time masa medical, the quick lunch thru the busy days, the sleepovers, the pillow talks, the time where we went for holiday together.

for being a shoulder for me to lean on, for being there thru all the smiles, the tears, and everything in between..for being my consultant doctor when im clueless, (u n fiza always be my consultant doctors after this. bile2 pun. ok janji) my beauty / fashion advisor. the one who stood up and understand. and try to approves of whatever attitude im having.

you are one strong person. who really care about those you love. and im blessed to be one of em (ayat perasan ke ayat betul ni? :p) 

and you are one caring doctor, altho at times cranky. but we all do have our cranky moments.

i love you for who you are. 

despite all the sarahs in the whole wide world, there will only be one sarah wong for me, for me n fiza that is :D

no other ah wong can replace you :)

thank you for being in my life, for making my life more pretty, colourful n lovable :)

i pray and hope that our friendship will stay. despite all there is to come in the future. eventho kalau u kawen pun, i wud still hope that we can spend our time together n still have our outing. hehehe

i pray that you will be happy always. healthy always,. wealthy always, and your iman will grow stronger throughout each day.

doa ah wong cepat2 kahwin dgn sharin :D tak sabaaaarr :)

semoga sentiasa dlm jagaan Allah. and pray that your future will be a great success insyaAllah. 

i hope in the future we will all be specialist yang best aje :D

its sad now knowing that im coming an end to the housemanship period. regardless i want you to know that you will always be my special girl. 

for the memories spent, those time will always be forever held and cherished

love you ah wong.

love you memuah!!

random again

 it is now may! cepat sangat masa berlalu ehhh.

gonna finish my housemanship in 2 months time. lesser, sebenarnya

okay tinggalkan perasaan sedih tu kejap. jauh2. buang jauh2

it has been a great experience in htar. the sweet, the bittersweet, yang kena marah, kena buli, kena jerit, kena pukul :P hehe. but all in all, packed in one carriage, akan jadi bekal buat selama-lamanya..

and Alhamdulillah..terima kasih Allah. it has been 6 months now.

6 bulan yang sangat indah. the peaceful, serene, most beautiful 6 months ever. 

and insyaAllah many many million months more to come. itu doa saya setiap hari, pagi dan petang.

terima kasih Allah kerana bawakan dia dalam hidup saya.

anugerah yang tak mungkin akan dapat saya lupakan.

:)

for this happiness. for this faith within me.

sungguh. 

saya sayang awak kerana Allah.